


Why I Sit and Sigh So

by starwarned



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Body Worship, M/M, POV Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Rimming, literally so much praise kink, no beta we die like simon’s will 2 live, this is my emotional support porn that I wrote for dem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:08:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29892648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starwarned/pseuds/starwarned
Summary: I lean forward and press my forehead against his. “Can I take care of you?” I ask softly.Simon finally looks at me and pulls back. “What?”I reach up and touch his cheeks. “Let me,” I murmur. “Please.”
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 8
Kudos: 115





	Why I Sit and Sigh So

**Author's Note:**

  * For [OtherWorldsIveLivedIn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OtherWorldsIveLivedIn/gifts).



> HELLO I wrote probably half of this all today because I got excited. this is a gift for dem who deserves all the good in this world. I started writing this for them months ago so I'm glad to have finally finished :) 
> 
> I love you dem!! hope you enjoy this <3

The door slams and I wince a bit. I hear grumbling coming from the living room and can immediately tell what sort of day at work Simon had. He’ll come in here in a moment and tell me all about it. 

I straighten up so my back is pressed against the headboard in a more ergonomic position. I’d like to at least finish this page before Simon comes barging in— 

Too late. He’s stomping into the room and effectively cutting off my train of thought. 

I sigh and set down the book. “Yes, darling?” I say, cocking an eyebrow at him so he knows I’m upset that he barged in on me. 

His expression cuts me down a peg. He looks absolutely exhausted. 

He doesn’t say a word as he tugs his jumper over his head and doesn’t bother to pull down his shirt that inevitably comes with it. He disappears into the bathroom without so much as a glance towards me. 

_ Well, fuck.  _

Simon does get like this every once in a while. He just gets so down on himself and so frustrated that he doesn’t bother speaking. I know words are hard for him. 

So I’m determined to do something nice for him. I hear the shower turn on and smirk as I wiggle open the side drawer and rummage through it. 

— 

When Simon steps out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel wrapped low around his waist, his hair wet, and his wings folded up behind him, I’m ready for him on the bed. 

His eyes go big when he sees me. 

“Darling,” I say gently. “Come join me?” 

I’m only in my pants right now and I’ve got the bottle of lube just next to me. There’s plenty of space on the bed in front of me for Simon to take up. 

“Er—” he starts, taking a nervous step forward. “What’s all this?” 

“Just come here, please,” I say, anxious to get my hands on him. 

He finally obeys and settles on the bed, just close enough to me that I can reach out and place my hands on his thighs. He looks even more haggard up close. He won’t even look me in the eye. 

“Bad day at work?” I ask, absentmindedly rubbing my thumbs along the edge of the towel. 

He shrugs. His wings shudder. “Just—  _ these _ got in the way,” he says, shaking out his wings, voice tainted with disdain. “And I kept fucking up. All my extra body parts and shit.” 

It hurts to hear him hate his extra body parts especially when I’m so fond of them. 

“I’m sorry,” I say, and I am. I wish he felt more comfortable in his skin. 

I suppose that’s why I’m here. 

Simon certainly hasn’t forgotten why I’m here because his eyes keep flicking down to the lube. 

I lean forward and press my forehead against his. “Can I take care of you?” I ask softly. 

Simon finally looks at me and pulls back. “What?” 

I reach up and touch his cheeks. “Let me,” I murmur. “Please.” 

He lets me touch him, his eyes closing as my fingers slide back and into his damp curls. He hums, not giving me a solid answer still. 

I tug gently to prompt a response. 

“Yeah,” he whispers, and then opens his eyes. “Just kiss me, please.” 

Gladly. 

To his credit, despite his bad work day, Simon is just as passionate as ever when I kiss him. He responds quickly and forcefully, pressing his tongue into my mouth when he has the opportunity to. I moan despite myself. 

Simon’s hair is still damp enough that a couple drops of water slide down past my fingers and fall down his neck. I pull away from his mouth in order to watch one particular drop slip down his neck and collarbone, getting lost in the bit of chest hair he’s got. The next drop that starts to slide down his jaw is intercepted by my mouth. 

I lick up the water and trace my tongue back up Simon’s warm skin to his ear where I suck his earlobe into my mouth, flicking it with the edge of my tongue and biting gently. (My fangs haven’t come into play quite yet, but it’s really only a matter of time.) 

Simon whimpers softly as I trace my hands along his chest and shoulders and continue to abuse his earlobe with my teeth. 

Sliding my hands down his chest and to the edge of the towel, I pull away and eye Simon. I raise my eyebrows as a form of asking if I can take it off. He swallows — showy as always — and nods his head. I tug it from around his waist and allow myself to just look. I don’t get to see Simon like this a lot — fully  _ himself  _ (wings and tail included), naked, and completely at my mercy. We tend to barely get into the bedroom and get our trousers off before we have sex more often than not. 

“Baz,” Simon whispers, looking at me almost shyly. “Get on with it.” 

“Let me appreciate you,” I respond, eyeing his soft thighs and pudgy hips and lovely cock. His soft stomach, all curves and warmth. The light trail of hair that runs down his chest. And back up to his face — flushed and beautiful. 

When my hand presses against his chest, Simon’s eyes shut. 

“You’re so beautiful.” 

He opens his eyes again, the blush spreading its way down his neck. He just barely shakes his head. 

I know he doesn’t think so. 

It’s a hard thing — to love yourself, especially when you’ve spent your entire life telling yourself you’re not worthy of it. Simon knows that better than anyone (besides me, perhaps). I’m determined to just remind him that  _ I  _ think he’s lovely. He doesn’t have to believe it. He just has to know that I believe it. That’s enough for now. 

I press on Simon’s shoulders and shift him so he can lie back on the bed and I can stay kneeling just next to his hip. 

“I love every part of you,” I breathe, leaning down to press a kiss against his jaw. 

“This—” I say, kissing the middle of his throat. “This—” His collarbone. “This—” Just above one of his nipples. “This—” The top curve of his stomach. “This—” His bellybutton. 

Simon gently squirms under my touch and his hands end up tangled in my hair. 

“All of it.” 

“I—” Simon starts. Then, when I look at him, he seems to think better of it and uses his grip on my hair to pull me into a kiss. He kisses me hard. Simon’s not particularly a man of words, but he’s good with his mouth and takes me apart with a well-placed swipe of his tongue. 

But this is still about him. 

So I pull away, holding his cheeks in my hands and looking at him square in the eye before murmuring, “Turn over for me?”

Simon looks hesitant but then nods, shifting himself so he’s now lying on his stomach. (I force myself not to get distracted by his arse.) 

I shuffle around so I can move my leg over and straddle his hips. (I’ve still got my pants on, but with what I have planned, I don’t think I’ll need them off anytime soon.) 

I move my hands down the slopes of Simon’s shoulders and to the tops of his wings. He spreads them out a bit once he feels my hands on them. I run my fingers along the ridges at the tops of the joints and revel in the feeling of it against my skin. 

Leaning over, I press a kiss in between Simon’s shoulder blades where his wings connect to his back. I run my mouth over the melding of skin and wing there, guiding my lips and tongue over every line of Simon’s wings, taking my time teasing sighs and breathy moans out of my lovely boyfriend. 

“You make such pretty noises,” I say softly against him when he makes a particularly hot sound that sends a shiver down my back and has me clenching my thighs around his hips. 

I can feel him grind his hips into the mattress in response. 

Good. 

I continue my path down Simon’s back, pressing kisses and teasing bites along the curve of his spine and then where his tail connects to his skin. The end of the tail flicks up and curls around my forearm. 

As I press myself further down the bed, I grip Simon’s hips and push them up so he can no longer grind against the mattress. He whines a bit, but I smack him lightly on the arse. 

“Patience, love,” I murmur as I settle myself between his legs. I let my breath wash over where I plan on heading next. 

“Ah,” Simon breathes out. “If I’d known where this was going, I would’ve… you know.” 

I smile, absolutely delighted at what a numpty my boyfriend is. “Have you forgotten I’m a Mage, love?” 

Before he can answer, I’ve snatched my wand from the edge of the bed and cast a quiet cleaning spell. Simon shivers under my hands. His tail unwraps from my arm and flicks into the air.

And I waste no more time before pressing my mouth against his hole. 

He’s warm here and I press my tongue against him with no hesitation. Simon bucks back against my mouth and moans loudly. 

_ “Baz—!” _ he calls out when I slip the end of my tongue into him, using my grip on his waist as leverage, pressing into him as deep as I can. I slowly and languidly fuck him with my tongue, curling it inside him and sucking at his rim. 

I take my time licking into him and he’s writhing in my grasp by the time I’ve got him open enough to slip a finger in beside my tongue. 

Soon, I’m focusing all of my attention on his prostate and gently stroking it with two fingers, never letting Simon get a break from the pressure mounting inside him. My fangs pop but I hold my bloodlust at bay. I’m much more anxious for Simon to come than I am to drink from him.

“Baz, oh God—” Simon breathes, fucking himself back on my fingers. “Fuck me—  _ oh! _ ” 

“Good boy,” I whisper against the skin of his arse, leaving a teasing bite there. I kiss the mole just under his arse cheek. 

“It’s so much,” he whines breathlessly. 

“Too much?” 

_ “No!”  _ Simon insists quickly, clenching around my fingers as if to keep me there as long as he can. He’s still grinding against me. “No,” he repeats, quieter. “‘m just gonna come.” 

“That’s the whole point, darling,” I say softly. I let my free hand come down to palm myself over my pants. I could come untouched just by all the sounds Simon is making. “Have I told you how beautiful you are when you come?” 

Simon grunts, clenching around my fingers. His tail flicks wildly above my head before retwining itself around my forearm.

I speed up my pace against his prostate, circling and sliding over the nerves in the way I know he likes. “You’re so lovely,” I continue, intent on getting him off with just this. Untouched. He’s not even making a move to touch his cock so I know he’s thinking about it too. “I love it when you say my name when you come.” 

“Baz,” he sighs. 

“Like that,” I praise. “So lovely.” 

I can see Simon’s muscles tense and his breathing picks up. “Oh—” he chokes out. “Baz—  _ Baz, _ I’m so—” 

“You can come, baby,” I say encouragingly. “I’m right there with you. Let me hear you.” 

Simon Snow makes a show of everything he does. Coming is no exception. 

He cries out —  _ “Oh, God! Baz!”  _ — and his stomach gets all tense. He’s clenching around me so hard that it hurts. I stroke his prostate as he comes, pushing the orgasm to last longer. He’s whimpering and breathing heavily by the time I come as well, moaning and rocking against my own hand. 

We both come down together and I pull my fingers out of him, enjoying the soft whine he emits now that he’s empty. He flops forward onto the bed. I kiss back up along his spine until I’m lying next to him. He covers me with his wing and uses it to pull me close. His tail unwinds from my forearm. (It left kind of a mark and I hope it lasts. I like it.) 

“Alright, darling?” I ask. 

Simon’s eyes are still shut but he nods. 

And, then, I take a bit of a chance because I’m feeling especially soft tonight. “I love your wings and tail,” I whisper. “I love that you’re—”

“A monster?” Simon provides begrudgingly, opening his eyes and blinking at me. 

“No,” I insist. I kiss his chin. “I love that you’re like me.” 

Simon’s eyes soften and he curls his tail around my waist, pulling me into him. We’re both still sticky and generally disgusting, but I can’t find it in me to care that much. 

“I love you,” I whisper. 

I don’t say it often. I should say it more. 

But Simon says it far less. 

“I love you,” he says. 

And I kiss him. And we hold each other. Simon’s wings curl around us and I nuzzle my fangs against his neck. 

And we do eventually clean up because Simon starts to complain about lying in a wet spot. 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [tumblr dot com](snowybank.tumblr.com)


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